Cine se trezeşte de dimineaţă râde mai bine

–Cateva lucruri care nu trebuie spuse in pat

0

You woke me up for that?
Did I mention the video camera?
Try breathing through your nose
Him: This is your first time… right? Her: Yeah… today!
Can you please pass me the remote control?
Do you accept Visa?
On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.
Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober…
Got any penicillin?
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
Nah, it’s just a rash. It’ll clear up in a day or two.
Did you come yet, dear?
Hic! I need another beer for this please
Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper…
You mean you’re NOT my blind date?
via

–Jingle Bombs

De sezon.

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That’s when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…

[it’s not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
or I’ll kill you…

I KILL YOUOUOU!

Jeff Dunham – Jingle Bombs (Achmed)
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Pauza de pranz la inaltime

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Povestea din spatele fotografiei iconice ‘Lunch atop a skyskraper’:
http://100photos.time.com/photos/lunch-atop-a-skyscraper

20 Sep 1932, Manhattan, New York City, New York State, USA --- While New York's thousands rush to crowded restaurants and congested lunch counters for their noon day lunch, these intrepid steel workers atop the 70 story RCA building in Rockefeller Center get all the air and freedom they want by lunching on a steel beam with a sheer drop of over 800 feet to the street level. The RCA building is the largest office building in terms of office space in the world. (original caption). Image taken 9/20/32; filed 9/29/32.  --- Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS

20 Sep 1932, Manhattan, New York City, New York State, USA — While New York’s thousands rush to crowded restaurants and congested lunch counters for their noon day lunch, these intrepid steel workers atop the 70 story RCA building in Rockefeller Center get all the air and freedom they want by lunching on a steel beam with a sheer drop of over 800 feet to the street level. The RCA building is the largest office building in terms of office space in the world. (original caption). Image taken 9/20/32; filed 9/29/32. — Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS

Bune maniere

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Suna o tipa la un numar:
– Alo, scoala de dans si bune maniere?
I se raspunde:
– P**a dans, numa’ bune maniere…

via groparu’

Iguane vs serpi

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  • 15 November, 2016
  • Video

1-0 iguane:

1-1 🙁

http://petapixel.com/2016/11/14/crazy-iguana-snake-chase-scene-planet-earth-ii-shot/

Biden dupa alegeri

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In asteptarea lui Trump:

http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2016/11/14/biden-obama/