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Detectivul chinez

A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese
detective… the cheapest one he could find. This is his report:

Most honorable sir!
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house.
I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window.
He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she.
She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee