At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys’ side of the story. We always hear “the rules” from
the female side…. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ on purpose!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials…

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like
nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine… Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men
really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

via sursa foto

Sotia: – Iti promit ca te fac cel mai fericit barbat de pe lume.
Sotul: – Serios? Cand pleci?

-Cum se scapa de boala vacii nebune??
-Prin divort.

Un betiv sta la bar si scrie de zor cifre pe o bucata de
hartie. Barmanul, curios, il intreaba ce face acolo:
- Nevasta-mea tine o cura de slabire si mi-a spus ca
pierde un kilogram pe saptamana.
- Si?
- Si daca sunt exacte cifrele, scap de ea in 18 luni…

Instituţia căsniciei este foarte asemănătoare cu mersul la restaurant în grup. Comanzi ce vrei, pe urmă vezi ce au luat alţii şi brusc nu îţi mai place ce ai tu.

Bărbatul nu este complet până nu se căsătoreşte. Pe urmă este terminat.

Nu am cunoscut fericirea adevărată până nu m-am căsătorit. Pe urmă a fost prea târziu.

Un băieţel îl întreabă pe tatăl lui: “Tati cât costă să te căsătoreşti?”
Tatăl i-a răspuns: “Nu ştiu fiule, încă plătesc”.

O femeie cauta o carte in bibloteca.
Sotul o intreaba:
– Ce cauti draga?
– Stii unde-i cartea aia “Cum sa traim pana la 140 de ani” ?
– Da, tocmai am aruncat-o…
– De ce ?
– Incepuse ma-ta s-o citeasca !

I: Ce este o fată mare?
R: Fata mare e o fată mică şi urâtă!

-Ce le împiedica pe blonde să ajungă la facultate?
-Liceul…

Un studiu sociologic arată că bărbaţii, în general, ies la băut din doua motive:
1. N-au nevastă
2. Au nevastă