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The Good Wife Guide
Extras dintr-un text apărut în revista “Home Economics” la începutul anilor ’60
Vezi şi Sfaturile bisericeşti pentru tânăra mireasă
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.
Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work.
Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women’s interests are often rather trivial compared to men’s.
At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband’s breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.
Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it.
In all things be lead by your husband’s wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent.
It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
Homosexualii şi popa
Un grup de homosexuali se întâlneşte pe o insulă în vacanţă. În scurt timp, numărul lor creşte şi insula devine plină de homosexuali.
Localnicii, scandalizaţi, îl roagă pe preotul local să le ceară homosexualilor să plece acasă. Acesta merge între ei şi începe să le vorbească, în timp ce îi afuma cu cădelniţa.
Unul dintre homosexuali se apropie de popă şi îi zice, suav:
-Păpuşă, vezi că ţi-a luat foc poşetuţa…
Ultimele bancuri tari
I. Cum au spart chinezii site-ul Pentagonului ?
R. Fiecare a incercat cate o parola.
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I. Ce zic ciobanii cand se descalta?
R. No, a mai trecut un an!
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I. Este adevarat ca impotenta se poate trata cu lapte ?
R. Da, daca in ceasca cu lapte se pun si doua linguri cu ghips.
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I. E adevarat ca barbatii impotenti traiesc mult ?
R. Da, dar degeaba.
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I. De ce sunt mai multi purici decat oameni?
R. Pentru ca este greu sa fabrici niste prezervative asa de mici.
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I. Cum clasifica femeile penisurile?
R. In viziunea femeilor, penisurile se clasifica astfel:
– in ordine descrescatoare: mica, foarte mica si ce-i aia.
– in ordine crescatoare: mare, foarte mare si NORMALA.
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I. De ce si-a pus Bula roti mai mari la Lastun ?
R. Pentru ca faceau cainii pipi pe geamuri.
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I. Care este melodia indragita a homosexualilor ?
R. O fata mai gasesti, dar un prieten, ba!
I. Care este avantajul de a face sex in grup?
R. Daca ai ceva treaba, poti sa pleci.
I.. De ce nu alearga melcul?
R. De frica sa nu-i fâlfâie ochii.
I. Exista vreun medicament care elimina mirosul de ceapa?
R. Cum sa nu. Usturoiul.
I. De ce iau politistii salariu?
R. Pentru ca prostia se plateste.
I. Ce au in comun un trenulet electric si sanii unei femei?
R. Au fost create initial pentru copii, dar tot barbatii se joaca mai mult cu ele.
I. De ce se tin leii in cusca?
R. Pentru ca daca i-am tine in acvariu s-ar ineca…
I. Se poate face dragoste pe tavan?
R.. Da, cu conditia sa nu cada plapuma.
I. Ce spune spermatozoidul care fuge dupa un ovul ?
R. Daca te prind, om te fac!
I. Prin ce se deosebeste sexul frantzuzesc de cel romanesc ?
R.. Francezii fac sex fara lenjeria de corp, iar romanii fara lenjeria de pat.
I. Care este dezavantajul unei lupe ?
R. Mareste, dar nu intareste!
I. De ce nu se prea utilizeaza prezervative de culoare neagra?
R. Pentru ca negrul subtiaza …
I. Ce face femeia dupa ce face dragoste?
R. Plictiseste ….
I. De ce l-a creat Dumnezeu primul pe Adam?
R. Ca sa poata vorbi macar pana aparea si Eva.
I. Care este, in zilele noastre, cea mai obisnuita formula de cerere in casatorie?
R. Dumnezeule, sa nu-mi spui ca ai ramas insarcinata …
I. De ce prefera barbatii sa se insoare cu virgine?
R. Pentru ca nu suporta comparatiile.
I. Cum se cheama un barbat inteligent in America ?
R. Turist.
I. De cate feluri sunt femeile?
R. Femeile sunt de trei feluri:
– cele cuminti – care se culca numai cu unul,
– curvele – care se culca cu toti si
– curva dracului, se culca cu toti, numai cu mine nu!
I. De ce a creat Dumnezeu barbatul?
R. Pentru ca vibratorul nu poate sa aduca bani acasa.
I. Care este asemanarea dintre un barbat si un storcator de fructe?
R. Ai nevoie de el, dar nu esti sigura pentru ce.
I. Care este diferenta dintre o amanta si o sotie?
R. 30 de kilograme.
I. Care este diferenta dintre un amant si un sot?
R. 30 – 45 de minute.
I. Ce imbatraneste prima oara la un barbat ?
R. Nevasta
I. De ce sunt atatia barbati cracanati ?
R. Lucrurile fara importanta sunt puse intre paranteze.
I. Care este asemanarea dintre o masina noua si un sot?
R. Ambele functioneaza bine doar in primul an.
8 lucruri pe care nu le ştii despre creşterea copiilor
1.The poop factor. People tell you about it and you know it’s coming but you have no real appreciation for the sheer quantity or frequency with which these little machines can manufacture the stuff. It’s amazing. There were times with our little ones when we just put on a fresh diaper; we left the room only to have the smell “follow” us out. Turns out it’s not the smell that was following us … we were carrying the smell. When you find yourself saying: “No! It can’t be. I just changed him.” rest assured it can be.
2. There is no such thing as being cool. No matter how cool you think you are or how cool you were in high school, when you become a parent that all goes out the window. You will find you will do anything to make your crying baby stop when you’re in line at the grocery store. You’ll sing ABC’s, twinkle-twinkle little star, or old MacDonald in front of a crowd of strangers. You’ll snort like a pig, give raspberries, and speak in a really strange voice. Sometimes it’s fun and you can really get into it, other times it’s just downright embarrassing.
3. You will wonder if you’re a short order cook. In the first few years of parenthood so much of your time is spent in the kitchen it’s ridiculous. There’s cleaning bottles, sippy-cups, spoons, bowls, plates, and bibs. There’s preparing breakfast, midmorning snacks, lunch, mid-afternoon snacks, dinner, and bedtime snacks. Top all of this off with cleaning everything as you go throughout your day,and your kitchen can feel like home base for the first few years.
4. Sleep is for wussies. For every poop story you encounter there will likely be one warning you of the scarcity of sleep. I remember the first night our first son was here, that was a wakeup call. He was finally quiet for a 2 hour period and my husband and I both woke up, looked at each other and commented on how great it felt to get 2 hours of solid sleep. It was that night that we really got what it meant to be sleep deprived.
Citeşte continuarea: 8 Things People Never Tell You About Having Kids.