Cine se trezeşte de dimineaţă râde mai bine

Poliţiştii şi capitalele

La Politie au loc calificari de cadre. Vine seful si le spune politistilor:
– Baieti, la noi in tara au inceput sa vina tot felul de straini si ni s-a cerut
sa va supunem unui examen de cunostinte generale. Vi se cere sa cunoasteti
capitalele tarilor mai importante. Asa ca luati doua saptamani de permisie si
invatati capitalele.
Se duc politistii acasa, se pun cu burta pe carte si se intorc peste doua
saptamani. Seful îi intreaba:
– Ati invatat capitalele?
– Daaa…
– Bine, ia sa-mi spuna cineva ce capitala are Marea Britanie.
Peste politisti se lasa o tacere grea. Se aude o voce timida din sala:
– Bine, sefu’, dar dumneavoastra ne-ati spus sa invatam capitale de tari,
nu de mari…

Bine, rău, urât

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It’s triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She is a Lawyer.

3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You’re in them.

5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

7. Good: You give the “birds and bees” talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

8. Good: The postman’s early.
Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It’s another man.
Ugly: He’s your best friend.

10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!