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Umor cu australieni și neo-zeelandezi

50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a “Kiwis Are Not Stupid” Convention.
Helen Clark, Prime Minister of New Zealand, says, “We are all here
today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken I hev a
volunteer.”
Carlos Spencer gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to
the stage. Helen asks him, “What uz fufteen plus fufteen?”
After fufteen or 20 seconds Carlos says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone
is a little disappointed.
Then all 50,000 Kiwis start chanting, “GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM
ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Helen says, “Well sunce we’ve gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of
you un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast
media here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance.” So she asks, “What
uz sivven plus sivven?”
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety!”
Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh
– everyone is disheartened.
Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their
hands shouting, “GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage,
eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance …What uz two plus
two?”
Carlos closes his eyes and, after a whole minute, eventually says,
“Four!”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump
to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream… “GUV HUM
ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!”

Credit foto

Neînţelegerea

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.
One of them is washing her “private area” and notices that there is a
response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and
explain what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, maybe a
little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.” The
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