Hot dogs
Gândacul
Intr-o noapte, tiganca se trezeste tipand:
– Tigaaane, scoala tigane!!!
– Lasa-ma, fa, dracu’ sa dorm!
– Tigane, scoalaaaaa!
Se trezeste asta nervos si-i zice:
– Ce ai, fa?
– E un gandac pe perete!!!
– Si ce-ai vrea, fa, sa fie? Un Rembrandt?
9 semne ca esti geek
1. When you are counting objects, you go like “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…” .
2. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
3. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
4. When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
5. When you look for your car keys using: “grep keys /dev/pockets”
6. When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
7. When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
8. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
9. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you’re doing the math in octal.
De aici
Masina lui Basescu
Cum arată în interior maşina întâiului cârmaci al ţării 🙂
Nou dicţionar economic :)
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
De aici.