Cine se trezeşte de dimineaţă râde mai bine

Nou dicţionar economic :)

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

De aici.

Ardeleni la vânătoare

Doi ardeleni merg la vinatoare. Dupa o vreme, obositi si
fara nimic in tolba hotarasc sa manince. Trag o horinca, reusesc sa
se torpileze bine de tot si adorm la umbra unui pom. Spre seara, cind
a inceput sa se racoreasca, Gheo se trezeste, se freaca la ochi si
observa deasupra lui un deltaplan. Speriat, il trezeste in fuga si pe
Vasai si-i arata dihania, la care Vasai il intreaba:
– Trag?
– Trage!
Vasai baga doua gloante in pusca si trage fara sa stea pe ginduri.
Gheo: – Nu cre’ ca l-ai nimerit!
Vasai: – Nu-i bai, bin’ c-o dat drumu’ la om!…