Cine se trezeşte de dimineaţă râde mai bine

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Cine se pricepe la algebră?

Soldatii sunt scosi la program administrativ in gradina unitatii.
Caporalul, cu un aer satisfacut, zice:
– Asa, toata lumea ia cate o lopata si treceti la sapat!
– Inainte de asta… E vreunul printre voi care se pricepe la algebra?
– Eu, sa traiti! Sunt student la mate-fizica, dom`caporal.
– Bravo, ma. Atunci arunca dracului lopata aia, ca nu-i de tine.
Soldatul, usurat, arunca lopata cu o mina vesela.
Caporalul continua:
– Si pune mana pa’ harlet. Tu vei extrage radacinile!!!

Glume pentru politehnişti

I. Ce este un urs polar?
R. Un urs rectangular care are sistemul de coordonate schimbat.

I. Ce-i zice un vector altui vector?
R. “Ai un moment?”

I. Ce este un copil complexat?
R. Un copil cu mama reala si tata imaginar.

Umor cu australieni și neo-zeelandezi

50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a “Kiwis Are Not Stupid” Convention.
Helen Clark, Prime Minister of New Zealand, says, “We are all here
today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken I hev a
Carlos Spencer gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to
the stage. Helen asks him, “What uz fufteen plus fufteen?”
After fufteen or 20 seconds Carlos says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone
is a little disappointed.
Then all 50,000 Kiwis start chanting, “GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM
Helen says, “Well sunce we’ve gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of
you un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast
media here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance.” So she asks, “What
uz sivven plus sivven?”
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety!”
Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh
– everyone is disheartened.
Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their
Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage,
eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance …What uz two plus
Carlos closes his eyes and, after a whole minute, eventually says,
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump
to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream… “GUV HUM

Credit foto