Cine se trezeşte de dimineaţă râde mai bine
– Domnule doctor, cum a murit Ion?
– Nu ştim încă…. Tot ce ştim este că, la autopsie, s-a zbătut mult.– Să-ţi fie ruşine Mitică, zice nevasta. Iar ai venit beat acasă!
– Ca să respectăm adevărul, nu eu am venit, m-au adus vecinii.Doi tipi, în parc, arunca nişte coji de pâine la porumbei.
Zice unul dintre ei:
– Uite porumbeii ăştia, sunt ca politicienii! Cât timp sunt jos, îţi mănâncă
din palmă, dar când ajung sus, fac pe tine!
Nu e cazul la noi 🙂
Senior dress code
Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following
combinations do not go together and should be avoided:1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
via humor
La un proces legat de evaziunea fiscală dintr-o companie, judecătorul întreabă:
– Inculpat, recunoaşteţi că dvs. aţi încercat să scăpaţi de plata impozitelor şi
taxelor prin metoda descrisă mai devreme de comisarul Gărzii Financiare?
– Sincer, nu, dar şi metoda descrisă de dumnealui merită atenţie.
Avem o tara frumoasa;
Mai bine sa stai acasa,
Privind la televizor.
Ora cinci e cu-n omor;
Beat fiind si fara treaba,
Altu-a violat o baba,
Trei tigani isi fac palate,
Opt sosele sunt blocate,
Cinci soferi ebrietati,
O bataie intre frati,
Unul, care-n drum spre piata,
A alunecat pe gheata
Si si-a rupt din nou piciorul,
La 40 de ani de la aselenizare:
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon,
he not only gave his famous “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”
statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him,
the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander,
however, he made the enigmatic remark “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either
the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people
questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement
meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay, FL) while answering questions following a speech,
a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded.
Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor’s bedroom windows.
His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky.As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting
at Mr. Gorsky, “Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You’ll get oral sex when the kid next
door walks on the moon!”
Nu e reală, dar e amuzantă 🙂
în română