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Umor britanic

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Humor

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
– Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
– Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul Keating

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain

3 citate

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“O parte din cei 10 milioane de dolari am cheltuit-o la jocuri de noroc sau pe femei. Restul i-am tocat aiurea…”
George Raft
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“Singurele cuvinte in engleza pe care le-am vazut in Japonia: Sony si Mitsubishi…”
Bill Gullickson.
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“Homosexualitatea in Rusia e o crima si pedeapsa inseamna sapte ani de puscarie, inchis alaturi de alti barbati.. Lista de asteptare se intinde pe trei ani…”
Yakov Smirnoff.

15 citate celebre din viata sportiva

1. “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” – Charles Shackleford
To be fair… He can actually breathe underwater too.

2. “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points,
they almost always win.” – Doug Collins
… Almost? What happens the other times?

3. “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father” –Greg Norman
And all of his other parents he failed to mention.

4. “Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.” –Jerry Coleman
He’s sick? I hope he can still pitch today.

5. “The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.” –Bob Varsha
Now that’s impressive driving.

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