+20°C – Grecii imbraca puloverele (daca si le gasesc).
+15°C – Cei din Hawaii pornesc caloriferele (daca le au).
+10°C – Americanii tremura, rusii seamana porumb.
+5°C – Iti poti vedea respiratia. Masinile italiene nu mai pornesc. Norvegienii fac o baie. Rusii conduc cu geamurile deschise.
0°C – Apa ingheata in America, in Rusia doar se intareste.
-5°C – Masinile franceze nu mai pornesc.
-10°C – Incepi sa planuiesti o vacanta in Australia.
-15°C – Pisica insista sa doarma in patul tau. Norvegienii imbraca puloverele.
-18°C – Primaria din New York porneste caloriferele. Rusii fac ultimul picnic din sezon.
-20°C – Masinile americane nu mai pornesc. Cei din Alaska incep sa poarte maneci lungi.
-25°C – Masinile germane nu mai pornesc. Cei din Hawai sunt morti.
-30°C – Pisica prefera sa doarma in pijamaua ta.
-35°C – Prea frig pentru a mai gandi. Masinile japoneze nu mai pornesc.
-40°C – Planuiesti o baie fierbinte care sa dureze doua saptamani. Masinile suedeze nu mai pornesc.
-42°C – Transporturile sunt oprite in Europa. Rusii mananca inghetata pe strada.
-45°C – Toti grecii sunt morti.
-50°C – Genele incep sa ti se lipeasca atunci cand clipesti. In Alaska, oamenii isi inchid ferestrele de la baie.
-60°C – Ursii albi incep sa migreze spre sud.
-73°C – Serviciile speciale finlandeze il evacueaza pe Mos Craciun din Laponia. Rusii poarta caciuli cu urechi.
-80°C – Avocatii baga mainile in propriile buzunare.
-114°C – Alcoolul etilic ingheata. Rusii nu sunt fericiti.
-164°C – 99% din planeta e moarta. Echipa de fotbal a Rusiei devine campioana mondiala.
-200°C – Rusii isi pun cizmele.
-273°C – Zero absolut, miscarea atomilor se opreste.
via.
An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin’s 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers… Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.
He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, ‘I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS‘…
The attendant replied, ‘I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these people first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.‘
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, ‘DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?‘
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone:
‘May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,‘ she began – her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal – ‘we have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.‘
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, ‘Fuck You!‘
Without flinching, she smiled and said, ‘I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too.‘
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN_J8no7cFE
O farsă organizată de un post de televiziune din Belgia (VRT) celor de la Mobistar (companie de telefonie mobilă din Belgia).
Au pus un container exact in faţa intrării Mobistar şi au lăsat un număr de telefon pe container. Mobistar a sunat la acest număr, iar ce a urmat, vedeţi mai jos… 🙂
Versiunea cu subtitrare în engleză – aici
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxXlDyTD7wo
via humor
Nu mai mergi cu maşina sau…

sursa