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Contabilele

Intr-o firma de contabilitate, 4 femei in birou: sefa si 3 contabile,
una bruneta, una roscata, si cealalta blonda. De la o vreme, sefa
pleca totdeauna mai devreme de la serviciu, sub diverse pretexte.
Intr-o zi, se gandesc fetele ca daca sefa pleaca, pleaca si ele.
Zis si facut, si cum a iesit sefa pe usa, hop si ele, sa profite de 2
ore libere. Bruneta, merge direct la sala de fitness, profitand de
faptul ca are timp mai mult sa fie in forma. Roscata merge la
cumparaturi. Blonda, ca o sotie cuminte si iubitoare, merge acasa,
sa profite de 2 ore in plus langa sotul ei iubit. Acasa, insa, dupa
ce intra, aude zgomote din dormitor, si cand se uita pe furis pe
usa, ii vede pe barbatu-sau si pe sefa ei.

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Lecţii de viaţă

Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, ”Can I also sit
like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that
tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble
on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the
second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

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Momente de criză

Boss, to 4 of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.”
Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.”
Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.”
Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll
make your head spin.”
…To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a
moment, then responds: “I think I might be gay…”