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Tipuri de femei

Simpatica – “Bilete pentru meciul de box? Vai iubitule, nu trebuia”
Cunoscuta si ca: Super fata, Pretioasa, Sufletul din gasca baietilor, Colega de apartament
Avantaje: Vesela , agreabila, buna
Dezavantaje: S-ar putea sa se “trezeasca”, intr-o buna zi

Eterna “urlatoare” – “Nemernic bun de nimic, lenes care traieste degeaba!
Nu vezi ca nu ma faci fericita??”
Cunoscuta si ca: Diavolita, Gaita, Sula’n Coasta, Nevasta
Avantaje: Iti da atentie
Dezavantaje: …prea multa

Vaicarita – “Oh, capul meu. Ma doare rau. Ma dor si picoarele. Ah, ce crampe am.
Si uite, mi-a aparut celulita!”
Cunoscuta si ca: Plangareata, Miorlaita, Morocanoasa
Avantaje: Previzibila
Dezavantaje: Contagioasa

Sefa – “Stai drept! Puneti alta cravata! Tunde-te! Ia-ti un job mai bun!
Fa si tu niste bani! Nu te mai uita asa la mine!”
Cunoscuta si ca: Mana de fier, Generalul, Domnisoara “stie-tot”
Avantaje: De cele mai multe ori are dreptate
Dezavantaje: De cele mai multe ori are dreptate, dar ce conteaza?

Indecisa – “Nu pot sa ma hotarasc. Ar trebui sa imi schimb cariera, telurile,
casa si culoarea parului?”
Cunoscuta si ca: Ingrijorata, “Ce ma fac, iubitule!”
Avantaje: Usor de “manevrat”
Dezavantaje: Prea usor de “perturbat”

Agitata – “Am o idee. Hai sa ne imbatam si sa facem dragoste pana picam lati.
Am mai facut chestia asta. E super!!!”
Cunoscuta si ca: Nebuna, De neinfranat, Fata de distractii
Avantaje: Distractie… mai multa decat vei putea duce
Dezavantaje: Nu te poti baza pe ea

Matura – “Nu gasesc nimic haios in desenele ale animate la care tot te uiti”
Cunoscuta si ca: Fara Distractie, Fata cu Morcovu’, Intepata, Iceberg
Avantaje: Prietenii te vor compatimi
Dezavantaje: Nu vei avea prieteni

Martianca – “Acest dans sper ca te va face sa intelegi cat de mult inseamna
relatia noastra pentru mine”
Cunoscuta si ca: Ciudata, Vineri 13, Vesti Proaste, Artista
Avantaje: Distractiva
Dezavantaje: Isi va citi poeziile in public

Fata viselor tale – “Sunt multumita de tine asa cum esti, frumosul si
genialul meu iubit. Cred ca e cazul acum sa facem sex nebun si dezlantuit.”
Cunoscuta si ca: Cea mult Asteptata, Zeita, Femeia Perfecta, Perfectiunea Intruchipata
Avantaje: haioasa, inteligenta, dezinhibata
Dezavantaje: Nu va avea ce sa faca cu tine.

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Ciudățenii de pe glob

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,
but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is
punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited
from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their
reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers.
The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even
comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England
– but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband,
and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines
with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only
‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’
(Is this a great country or what?)
Well, not as great as Guam !)

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